Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Feelings
I've always been the type of girl that loves too fast and too hard. I can't tell you how many times I've been "in love" but there are a select few that still hold a piece of my heart and I don't know how to deal with it sometimes. I mean of course there's my baby's daddy...I will always love him, but it doesn't bother me like it used to. Then there are others that I still think about but are no longer in my life. And now, at this very moment, there are 2 that I can't seem to shake. There's only one I want to talk about right now. We knew each other since we were younger but never really knew each other personally. Then one night we met and that's where everything started. We dated if that's what you want to call it. I fell in love and he broke my heart. To make a long story short, he has a girlfriend now but lately has been calling me. I don't know how to take it. Does he miss my friendship? Or does me miss ME? And I don't ask because I don't want it to stop. Weird, right? He hasn't talked about getting together like we used to before, we just talk. Sometimes we talk about old times (one of which I will have to blog about later ;) and sometimes we just talk about nothing in particular. It's making me miss him and making me wish things had turned out differently. He's been a really good friend to me after everything we went through before and I'd like to say that I have been to him as well. So my latest pondering is do I just not question it and enjoy the friendship...or do I dig?
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1st and foremost...forgive me for being completely honest. But i'm sure you asked me to be a part of your blogs so that I can be honest... ok... that being said...
ReplyDeleteDont' do it! one simple and concrete solution is to ask yourself 2 questions. #1 - how would you feel if you were his girlfriend and he was talking to an ex? and #2 - how did you feel when he broke your heart in the first place?
If you can hold on to those two simple truths... then you can let go of him, even his friendship.
Far too often we as women pretend it's "ok" to be friends with our exes... but in reality we're not ok with it. Cause you're always gonna want more and wonder "what if"
The truth is girl, you're only hurting yourself by holding on longer.
Now... situations can always change and he comes back to ou for good... but are you willing to get hurt again, cause that will always be a trust issue with you.
Well, I feel like I'm on the road to recovery with this one. I've come to peace with the fact that we no longer talk. I know that if he hasn't changed by now, he isn't going to and I don't want to end up being the one he messes around on. You're right, I would never be able to trust him.
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